"Forgiveness, it's more than sayin' sorry"

God has been teaching me about forgiveness. It's something that generally seems really difficult. However, what I've learned is that the more you do it the easier it gets. And it sets us free from the terrible effects of an unforgiving heart. It doesn't matter if the other person feels sorry for their actions or not. Forgiveness is so freeing.

This morning I read a print-out on forgiveness and it really opened up my eyes to the fact that I may be holding unforgiveness in my heart from 5, 10, maybe even 15 years ago. I'm pretty sure it's effected me a lot in my life. So I'm working on going through the list of people that I need to forgive and forgiving them so that I can be free of the wounds they inflicted on me. It's a good thing...

In other news, I'm sitting in Panera drinking my favorite Hazelnut coffee and soaking in the alone time. I just bought Brooke Fraser's album, "Albertine" and Ben Rector's, "Twenty Tomorrow." It's good stuff... I'd recommend both for anyone who's looking for some good tunes.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. I hope everyone's enjoying their Christmas break.

I'm all over the place...

Sometimes when I pray I feel like I'm talking to a wall. And sometimes when I think I hear from God I doubt it. So much of the time my prayers are filled with all sorts of striving and desperation that I'm just certain God is telling me to chill out. But then, a few minutes or hours or days later I get an answer and I know that what he told me was real and that what I asked for he honored. It's ridiculous how he can prove himself to me over and over again and yet I still lose faith and give up heart in his abilities to care for me.

Thank God He is gracious. I'm learning and I guess that's all I can expect of myself.

So it's Christmastime, as we all know. And I'm home. Again. Just like you all. I love being home because it is such a relief. School can be so dramatic, so taxing. And getting up everyday to a middle-aged man talking about t-accounts isn't the most invigorating thing. During this time of year I get many, many hours with some of my most favorite people in the world. It's a safe-zone. School is great, don't get me wrong, but when I'm home I have practically no worries.

Right now I am most thankful not to have to think. I don't have to do work or try to figure out Ho and Ha and t* and tcritical and all that stats crap. It's more than wonderful. I just finished an awesome book and I just started Pride and Prejudice. I love it already. Thanks Marie.

So, I guess that's all. I hope everyone is loving their Christmas break.

Exams, Christmas, College, etc.

It is the middle of exam week. Thankfully, my grades aren't going to suck as bad as I thought they were going to. In two days I am going home for Christmas and I cannot wait. Its time for this semester to end and a new chapter to begin.

As Christmas approaches I am thinking more seriously about how to celebrate. When I was younger I didn't think much at all about the season of Advent but this year I want it to mean more. I want the faith aspect of Christmas to be more prominent than the gifts part. As I get older I feel like there's less that I want and need than I used to anyway. During this time I just want to remember Jesus, as he was, not my image of him, but as he really was. And hopefully it will carry over to next year and the next and so on.

Each semester of college is so different. When I think back over each semester that I've been here it's amazing how many things have happened and changed, and how many people I've met and unmet. Many people that I used to hang out with often I don't even say hi to anymore. It's so strange how things change so quickly. It makes me wonder what next semester will bring. Who will I meet? Who will we hang out with? What will it be like now that Marie is not returning? Some semesters have been awesome and some have been a nightmare. It makes me uneasy about what to expect.

"But those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31

I've never seen a cooler Asbury

Today is Sexy Friday. Thanks to DJ and Marie, we now have a holiday every week. And everyone looks super hot. Taylor and Taylor in their houndstooth coats. Holland in his tailored suit. Adam in his argyle sweater. DJ in her teal chucks and "effing short" dress. Marie in her lovely Gap Sweater. Kate in her cute pea coat. And me in my sweater dress (thanks Chap).

Today also was student chapel, which started out with our Chapel band tearing it up playing "Love is a Battlefield." It rocked. Thank you Pat Benatar.

Then, my dear friend, Miss Anna Rimelspach spoke and it was beautiful.

Now I'm sitting in my intermediate accounting class, which, to be honest, is not so cool. But It's still a good day.

Plus, Jesus still loves me.

Happy Friday!

On Desire and Fear... from an old blog I wrote...

"As I try to write, something I am not so accustomed to doing, I wonder if there will ever be words enough to express the desire within me. In being pursued, I find desires awakened that I had forgotten about. In some senses I am very much afraid of them. It seems that the life that He promises us has too often been interrupted by hurt and pain, so much so that we forget about the life, our hearts, our desires, so as not to be a victim of the worlds vile schemes. I hate that. I hate that the things that were meant to give us life often result in the most pain. But then I think, "who would we be without pain?" We would never know the healing words and actions of our lover, Jesus Christ. I know that it is only because of Christ that I am able to let myself be sought after again, and so I propose that I am fortunate to have felt the pain I did and experienced the love of Christ in its midst. Fear should never stop us from loving, talking, sharing, praying or anything that Jesus desires us to take part in. I want life and I am afraid. So do I let that fear cripple me, or do I hand it over to the only One who can truly handle it. Of course the latter, however difficult it may be at times."

I was compelled to share this on my current blog because I think it's the most real thing I've ever written.

I had forgotten about it but when I went back and read it I realized how much of what I was writing was still holding me. Fear is so crippling still. And it's sin. In being fearful I've admitted that God cannot take care of me. I wish I didn't fear anything.

Fearless Class 2011 lololol.

We live in a fairy tale...

I've been thinking about this. If you take a step back and really look at our world it's just like a fairy tale. There are shires, magical wardrobes, mountain ranges, castles, Ireland... you get the idea. We have colors, dimensions, sunrises, sunsets, flying creatures, swiftly-moving beasts, air, flowers, intricate details. And a vast expanse of sky; stars and galaxies unknown. Maybe God gave us the sky just so we'd imagine. I think we've gotten too used to this magical place. I mean, come on, fire flies? Really? Bugs that light up and play with kids?

And as in all fairy tales, the beauty of this place is stripped by "the dark side," "the fires of mount doom," "the wicked witch of the west."

Long story short, satan sucks and so does anthrax.

Study Break

I've been doing homework literally all day. I woke up at 6:30 to finish a paper then I went to class and since then [with the exception of lunch] I have been doing homework. Also, I have a four tests in the next 5 class days. Ouch. Good one professors.

The good news is cross country is over. Yes!

What Dessert Adjective Are You?

This is the question of the hour ladies and gentleman.
And boy do I have the answers!

Katelyn Nichols - sweet and zingy
i.e. lemon meringue pie


Sarah Werner - classic and delicious
i.e. apple pie


Taylor Brantner - creamy and smooth
i.e. dolce tarimisu


Marie-Claire DeJarnett - Crispy yet warm and sweet
i.e. Crème brulée


Dorothy Jean Ennis - Fluffy and curbs your sweet tooth
i.e. Cup Cake


Lauren John - Lighthearted yet firm
i.e. chocolate mousee


Kate Brannen - Appetizing and Multifaceted
i.e. Strawberry short cake


Jenelle McClean - Spontaneous and Luscious
i.e. Chocolate Milk Shake

If I was getting married right now

I would be wearing this J.Crew Wedding Gown



I'd be marrying this man in this suit



My brides maids would be wearing these dresses





I'd be getting married in this location



And then me and Prince Charming up there in the sexy suit would ride off into the sunset on a stallion named Alfred.

Oatmeal

and macroeconomics papers.

This is what I'm doing right now

p. 87 1. BEP = FC / CM %
#24 CM% = FC / BEP
CM % = 600,000/1,500,000 = 40%

2. CM% = SPu - VCu/Sp
.40 = SP - $15/SP SP .40 = SP - $15 = 15/6 = 2.5

3. Budget - breakeven = MOS
$1,500,000 / 25 60,000 units
80,000 units
MOS 20,000 units
1,500,000
2,000,000
$500,000
p.87 Operating Leverage
#25 $500Q - $350Q = 5,000
1) $150Q = 5,000
A) Q = 34 Carpets
B) Q = 0
2) $100Q
$150Q - $5,000 = $100Q
$50Q = $5,000
Q = 100
9-Sep
46) 150,000 : 50,000
p.94 CM =(3*$6) + (1*$12) = $30 3:01
Breakeven point $1,200,000 / $30= 40000= 160,000
120,000
40,000
rev - vc - fc = 0 (OI)
[$20 (3Q) + $50Q] - [$14(3Q) - $18Q] - 1,200,000 = 0
$30Q = 1,200,000
Q= 40,000
3Q= 120,000

STD R - VC - FC = 0
1,200,000/$6 per unit = 200,000 units

DELUX $30 - $18 = $12 per unit
$1,200,000/$12 per unit = 100,000 units
OI = Revenues - [variable cost] - FC

Praise the Lord for Cost Accounting.

In other news, the president is brainwashing the youth of our nation.
"(CNSNews.com) – Prior to his nationally broadcast speech to students on Tuesday, President Barack Obama made a pitch for health care reform in a discussion with 40 freshmen at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Va.

The president traveled to Wakefield High to give a speech on education reform. The speech was posted in advance on the White House Web site to quell fears that the president intended to plug his political agenda to impressionable minds."
http://cnsnews.com/news/article/53712

LOLZ. I don't care that the speech was posted prior. These kids don't pay frikin taxes.

And finally, I saw (500) Days of Summer with Marie, Maddi, and DoJo and it was awesome. Everyone should see it. It's probably the most creative movie in a long, long time. Thank you Marc Webb... not that I really know who that is except from this movie.

Runnin Wild

I heard this Brandon Heath song for the first time today. It reminded me of the romance of this life. We live for more than a bunch of mundane coincidences.

She wasn't looking for an answer to an ordinary prayer
She just liked to be around him
She liked knowing he was there
She saw something no one else could see
Way beyond his gentle eyes
And it was more than just a moment
When she finally realized

That she can feel his arms around her
Even when he's not around
And it's worth her while
To see him smile
Her heart is running wild for him

He wasn't looking for a reason
A certain time a perfect place
He just liked to be around her
And he loved the beauty of her face
And he knew something no one else could know about
A mystery that he will never tell
When she whispers softly to him
It's a voice he knows so well

And he can talk to her for hours
And still have so much more to say
And if you asked him now
I bet he'd tell you how
His heart is running wild for her

Now they stand together before the father and the son
Two hearts longing for each other are beating now as one

And you can almost hear the angels
You know their singing from above
About the beauty of a Father's love
His heart is running wild for them
All for them

I guess it's really just a love song but for some reason today it really spoke to me. Either life is one short-coming after another or it's a greatly opposed romance. It would appear to me that we're in a story that takes our most brave, whole hearts. Moseying through life is not an option. There's too much at stake. Besides, what's not to love about love and romance? It's probably the truest thing about us. We love to love.

"Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away."

I guess that's all I have to say.

Balloons full of h2o

It's the end of my first week of classes and I'm exhausted. It's 11:00pm on friday and all my friends just left to go the the World's Largest Water Balloon Fight.

Pretty sweet, I know. I decided to skip out because I'm super duper tired from our 6:15am xc practice this morning.

Anyhow, I wanted to write something deep to express what's really going on inside but I don't have the energy. Another day.

Such a strange thing college is.

It's been a while since I've written. Being at school permits me much less time to blog than does the ease of the summer months. Being busy is an unfortunate, unavoidable fact to the life of a lowly college student. But here, tonight, I will write ten not so unfortunate things about college:

10. Dorm life.
9. Cross Country
8. Open Dorm
7. Panera with the girls.
6. Young strapping men.
5. 3-hour long dinners in the caf.
4. Dr. Daniel Strait.
3. Chapel.
2. Beautiful Kentucky.
1. Marie-Claire's laugh.

NOTE** these are not in order of importance.

A Tribute

to my dear best friend whose birthday is today. Happy 20th Jackie Marie!

I LOVE YOU!!

Coffee

So this morning I woke up late. 11:00am. I really don't like sleeping in anymore but I needed it. So I got up, made a smoothie, had a lame attempt at a quiet time, made some eggs, and tried not to drink ANY coffee.

COFFEE FAIL.

I'm now sitting in front of my computer screen sipping on a nice warm cup of joe sweetened with some sugar-free vanilla caramel coffee mate and feeling like I just discovered the magnitude of my coffee infatuation. No, that's saying it gently. I'm addicted. SHOOT.

I've come to the truth about myself. I don't just like the taste or the warmth. Coffee is a little god for me that breeds all things comfy and cozy.

When I'm drinking it the world isn't so bad.
Maybe that's too far. The world's still bad. I love my life though, don't get me wrong. All I know is that coffee is satisfying something in me other than a caffeine fix. Caffeine really has zero affect on me anyway. BUT WHAT IS IT?


I love coffee too much for it to be okay. Maybe I need a relationship. Ba. ha.

Jesus, help me.
Refill time.

New Art Stuff

So My dear Dulce Jackie Marie, these are for you (they wouldn't send via emial). I need a critique. Also, I need more opinions. The room with the airplane is unfinished so if anybody has any suggestions for me that would be great! tell me what you think. Thanks. Oh ps. The little boy's name is Von. That's why it says Von lol durrrr

Disappointment

I went to the chiropractor today. I've been going for the past two weeks because I have some minor back problems. I think what he's done has really helped so in trusting this doctor I asked him about my knee pain. Even though I already went to a sports doctor who was, as it seems now, really unhelpful. So, point of the story is that my chiropractor did some pushing and pulling on my legs and has informed me that I have some grinding going on in my knee caps. An ailment which I am, as he said, way too young for. So the good news is he can do some work on it. The bad news is it doesn't really matter because I will only be able to run for 5-10 more years. Is it odd that my first thought was "how am I going to lose baby weight when I'm 32 and fat as a house?" Anyhow, I know you can sympathize with this Kate. And looking at your situation I'm thankful that I can even run at all. But it's disappointing nonetheless.

What a reminder that I truly am NOT invincible.

Mural Fest

People have been asking about my painting this summer so here's some pics

The Way I Spent Last Night

A friend called me yesterday evening. She was trying to hold it together but when I asked her how she was she immediately burst into tears and said "oh I've been better." This friend of mine isn't one of my college friends, nor is she someone who I ever thought I'd be consoling. She's almost middle age and I do a ton of babysitting for her. When I asked her what was up I could barely understand her words through her tears. She asked if I would go for a run with her and seeing how much pain she was in I didn't hesitate to say yes.

So we went. And went. And went. For 7 miles we went. And I listened. And as I did so this 39 year old friend of mine spilled her guts. I literally know every financial burden of her life over the past 16 years. And none of the strife that she was explaining to me was directly her fault. All I could think was what a horrible prison she's in. If only she knew the real Jesus. He could surly heal this situation. This rift in her marriage. This thorn in her flesh.

I feel sad for this woman. Sad not only because the whole situation just sucks and she's been hurt, but sad because in order to fix it she has to take control, she has to put her defenses up, she has to consent to not trust her husband completely. Well, I suppose we as humans never really trust anyone completely but there will be an inability rely on him in ways that she wants to.

So I am left with this: I am so thankful to be a Christian. Jesus can heal my situations, my realtionships, my heart. And I'm praying that she take her heart to Christ. He's the only one that can truly set us free. Because if we're honest, we're all imprisoned by something.

So after the run we went to dinner and a movie. It ended up being pretty fun. But I didn't get home until 2:30am and now I'm FRIGGING tired. It was definitely worth it though.

Sparkle much?

So today I have an 8 hour shift at the gown shop. Less than two hours left and I'm totally bored. The most beautiful little pageant girl just came in and purchased two gowns. It's always so bizarre when these pageant people come in because most of the time they select the most glitzie, hideously adorned gowns that apparently the judges love and I have to pretend look amazing. First one sold:



Polka dot disaster.

Second one sold: [I actually really like this one]


So okay, they're not ugly all the time. They're just usually so dang sparkily. I'm not sure if the point of the pageants is to be the prettiest, most talented, or sparkliest. See figure 3:



I can't tell, is it liquid?

Click on my ads

Por favor. Click on them.

Laughing Man

That's the Joe Purdy song that I'm listening to right now on Pandora. The reason that I titled this post that is because I don't know what to call it. That being because this is a two-parter. First part addressing my banner issues and second part addressing my dismay at having visted Miss Marie-Clair's blog everyday for the last month or so and seeing no new blogs. Annoyed. Yes Marie, I'm annoyed. I would like some good reading material out of you and your just not up to par. Did camp really take it out of you that much? Any how, I'll get back to that...

My Banner. I'm fickle. I really liked the one Kate made for me; the first one. But I got bored of it. I can't look at the same thing that much. So then I changed it to that gay like tie-die designey thing that was crap. So I quickly got bored of that. But now, I believe I have found something that contributes greatly to my inner peace about my blog. It's fun and it's cutesie but it's not too bright. It's me. Plus I got a lot of much needed experience on my wannabe photo shop program called Corel Paint Shop Pro Photo X2... why such a long name I must inquire?

So, Marie-Claire. What in the heck. I need a good word from you. A good, funny, charming blog. If I could I would mail you some inspiration. Also, I just talked to James and he said your brother's wedding has come and gone... perhaps a nice blog could come of it? Oh and I want to see pictures. So, is anyone else desiring some Marie blogging?

That's all. 1 month until back to school. Yes!

photobooth fun

It's raining outside so me and the kids can't go in the pool. We're bored... here's some photos.


























Thank God for little boys. They're awesome.