Procrastination

Right now I am sitting outside of Starbucks by a lovely fountain drinking a really delicious beverage.



I'm trying to psych myself up enough to finish that darn seminary application. Lately I've not been feeling too motivated to be productive. I think it's because I have other, more exciting things on my mind. Not that going to seminary isn't exciting or anything, I just hate writing up applications. Applications for jobs, for college, for camp, for anything. Me no like. Anyway, I didn't want that little rant to be the focus of this blog.

Several days ago, when I was still at camp, I woke up abruptly at 6am. I was completely exhausted but I couldn't for the life of me fall back asleep. I realized after a few minutes that I was thinking really intensely about the next year of my life. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm a little freaked. Part of me knows that God's totally got this one and that I'll be fine, but it's scary going out into the real world. Right now my parents still pretty much pay for everything and I am a bit less than self-reliant. And it's like, in a few months I'll be out in the world to fend for myself. Can I really do it? Am I really responsible enough? Smart enough? Capable enough? I know that I will be fine and probably successful, but it's still nerve-wracking.

So as I lay in bed I found myself trying to work out how I'm going to pay for everything, how I'm going to spend enough time with people, how I'm going to look for a job and I realized that I should just stop. Worrying is just so silly. And so I came to this resolution: to enjoy the adventure before me and live happily and bravely in the midst of uncertainties. If we could plan everything out perfectly where would God fit in? He wants me to need him. How beautiful it is to know that He wants, actually wants, to take care of me. That is good news.



All gone.

Summer Camp

has been such a big part of my life. When I think back over all the years that I've spent up at Long View I can't help but feel so very nostalgic. This year was probably one of the best years ever though. I've been a counselor up there I think four times now. This year for some reason I just felt so much more love and compassion for each camper. Little girls really are just so precious. It's amazing how when you have Jesus' love you can give so much more. God really came through for me so much this year and I think in many ways I just felt more like a grown-up.

However, now that I'm back home and camp is over I am faced with the fact that school begins in less than a month. I feel like I just finished exams. I think I'm in need of some more rest and restoration for my mind and soul. I want to go back motivated and excited but if I had to go back right now I know I wouldn't feel that way. I'm just praying that this year will be the best year yet. I have faith that it will be. How could it not when I'm living in Aldersgate with Kate, Jenelle, and of course my lovely roommate Anna?

I'm not sure if there's any good way to end this blog, so this is it. The End.