Sunday, December 27, 2009

"Forgiveness, it's more than sayin' sorry"

God has been teaching me about forgiveness. It's something that generally seems really difficult. However, what I've learned is that the more you do it the easier it gets. And it sets us free from the terrible effects of an unforgiving heart. It doesn't matter if the other person feels sorry for their actions or not. Forgiveness is so freeing.

This morning I read a print-out on forgiveness and it really opened up my eyes to the fact that I may be holding unforgiveness in my heart from 5, 10, maybe even 15 years ago. I'm pretty sure it's effected me a lot in my life. So I'm working on going through the list of people that I need to forgive and forgiving them so that I can be free of the wounds they inflicted on me. It's a good thing...

In other news, I'm sitting in Panera drinking my favorite Hazelnut coffee and soaking in the alone time. I just bought Brooke Fraser's album, "Albertine" and Ben Rector's, "Twenty Tomorrow." It's good stuff... I'd recommend both for anyone who's looking for some good tunes.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. I hope everyone's enjoying their Christmas break.

Friday, December 18, 2009

I'm all over the place...

Sometimes when I pray I feel like I'm talking to a wall. And sometimes when I think I hear from God I doubt it. So much of the time my prayers are filled with all sorts of striving and desperation that I'm just certain God is telling me to chill out. But then, a few minutes or hours or days later I get an answer and I know that what he told me was real and that what I asked for he honored. It's ridiculous how he can prove himself to me over and over again and yet I still lose faith and give up heart in his abilities to care for me.

Thank God He is gracious. I'm learning and I guess that's all I can expect of myself.

So it's Christmastime, as we all know. And I'm home. Again. Just like you all. I love being home because it is such a relief. School can be so dramatic, so taxing. And getting up everyday to a middle-aged man talking about t-accounts isn't the most invigorating thing. During this time of year I get many, many hours with some of my most favorite people in the world. It's a safe-zone. School is great, don't get me wrong, but when I'm home I have practically no worries.

Right now I am most thankful not to have to think. I don't have to do work or try to figure out Ho and Ha and t* and tcritical and all that stats crap. It's more than wonderful. I just finished an awesome book and I just started Pride and Prejudice. I love it already. Thanks Marie.

So, I guess that's all. I hope everyone is loving their Christmas break.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Exams, Christmas, College, etc.

It is the middle of exam week. Thankfully, my grades aren't going to suck as bad as I thought they were going to. In two days I am going home for Christmas and I cannot wait. Its time for this semester to end and a new chapter to begin.

As Christmas approaches I am thinking more seriously about how to celebrate. When I was younger I didn't think much at all about the season of Advent but this year I want it to mean more. I want the faith aspect of Christmas to be more prominent than the gifts part. As I get older I feel like there's less that I want and need than I used to anyway. During this time I just want to remember Jesus, as he was, not my image of him, but as he really was. And hopefully it will carry over to next year and the next and so on.

Each semester of college is so different. When I think back over each semester that I've been here it's amazing how many things have happened and changed, and how many people I've met and unmet. Many people that I used to hang out with often I don't even say hi to anymore. It's so strange how things change so quickly. It makes me wonder what next semester will bring. Who will I meet? Who will we hang out with? What will it be like now that Marie is not returning? Some semesters have been awesome and some have been a nightmare. It makes me uneasy about what to expect.

"But those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31

Friday, December 4, 2009

I've never seen a cooler Asbury

Today is Sexy Friday. Thanks to DJ and Marie, we now have a holiday every week. And everyone looks super hot. Taylor and Taylor in their houndstooth coats. Holland in his tailored suit. Adam in his argyle sweater. DJ in her teal chucks and "effing short" dress. Marie in her lovely Gap Sweater. Kate in her cute pea coat. And me in my sweater dress (thanks Chap).

Today also was student chapel, which started out with our Chapel band tearing it up playing "Love is a Battlefield." It rocked. Thank you Pat Benatar.

Then, my dear friend, Miss Anna Rimelspach spoke and it was beautiful.

Now I'm sitting in my intermediate accounting class, which, to be honest, is not so cool. But It's still a good day.

Plus, Jesus still loves me.

Happy Friday!