Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I Love You, Food.

I have a problem. It's an eating problem. I wish I could just exude a little [or a lot] of self-control, but when I try it just makes my infatuation with cereal, ice cream, and doughnuts even worse. I don't want to be too obsessed with food or my body, but it's hard when none of my clothes fit and all the women in movies are so much hotter than me. [bad comparison I know]

What I've tried to do recently [by recently I mean in the last year or two] is to just not think about it. In high school I was super duper anal about my body and literally everything I put in my mouth I felt guilty for. I also spent about 1/3 of my day everyday thinking about how many calories I'd consumed, how much I weighed, etc. It's not that I think I'm fat it's just that I want to be skinnier. BUT WHO CARES.

Right now I care because it's the High Bridge Film Festival this weekend and Jr/Sr the next and all of my dresses are too tight. Shoot. I don't want to think about it because when I do I loose my perspective, my joy, my self-esteem, and the truth is that most people don't notice when I've gained or lost a few pounds.

Point is, I hope the rest of my life I don't worry about things like this. Jesus, set me free.

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