I probably shouldn't publish this.

I didn't know why I couldn't just be happy. I'd strive to put on joy like an accessory in the morning. It's not that I didn't want to admit that I was hurt. It's that I just didn't want to be hurt. I would say that I thought that just brushing it off would be the answer... but that's just it, I didn't think. All I wanted was just to be okay and not have to deal with what I was really feeling. It's true, I went from being fine to just being mad. I skipped the whole sad part. That's why I just spent the last 30 minutes crying. Being rejected is being denied the most important of human needs, which is love. Now I know more clearly my need for love and Jesus is welcomed to meet it.