Thursday, March 26, 2009

It's Thurs

This week has been tough. It's Thursday and I'm so glad that that means tomorrow is Friday. Tuesday I got dumped, yesterday I found out that I didn't get the Ambassador Scholarship, and today, well today's been good. The most frustrating thing about these unfortunate happenings is that they encourage feelings of rejection to run rampant in my mind. Last night I felt like such a loser. But the thing is, when it comes right down to it, the breakup was a good thing and I'm really okay not being an ambassador. It's so easy to take things personally. But really, it's not all about me, and disappointment is a given. So basically I'm left to learn the best maneuvers to cope with it. Sometimes coping mechanisms are chocolate. Sometimes they're friends. Sometimes they're running or being busy. The sad part is, none of those mechanisms work. It's like total insanity trying to comfort myself with anything less than divinity. But I do it nonetheless. And then disillusionment sets in. All of a sudden all I know is that I'm sad but I have no idea, deep down, why I am actually sad. It's like trying to identify a boo boo in the heart that is invisible. So then what I do is... cry probably. Or bash someone else. And really just be an exuberantly uplifting person (noted sarcasm). It sucks. Disappointment sucks. Feeling like a loser sucks. I find comfort in knowing that my life really is good. I have lots of things to be happy about. But it's the Thursday of a really bummer week and mainly what I'm happy about is for it to be Friday. I'd say things are looking up.

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