A Beautiful Sight

I didn't have the guts to put this as my profile picture so I wanted to share it with you all on my blog. Enjoy!

"Forgiveness, it's more than sayin' sorry"

God has been teaching me about forgiveness. It's something that generally seems really difficult. However, what I've learned is that the more you do it the easier it gets. And it sets us free from the terrible effects of an unforgiving heart. It doesn't matter if the other person feels sorry for their actions or not. Forgiveness is so freeing.

This morning I read a print-out on forgiveness and it really opened up my eyes to the fact that I may be holding unforgiveness in my heart from 5, 10, maybe even 15 years ago. I'm pretty sure it's effected me a lot in my life. So I'm working on going through the list of people that I need to forgive and forgiving them so that I can be free of the wounds they inflicted on me. It's a good thing...

In other news, I'm sitting in Panera drinking my favorite Hazelnut coffee and soaking in the alone time. I just bought Brooke Fraser's album, "Albertine" and Ben Rector's, "Twenty Tomorrow." It's good stuff... I'd recommend both for anyone who's looking for some good tunes.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. I hope everyone's enjoying their Christmas break.

I'm all over the place...

Sometimes when I pray I feel like I'm talking to a wall. And sometimes when I think I hear from God I doubt it. So much of the time my prayers are filled with all sorts of striving and desperation that I'm just certain God is telling me to chill out. But then, a few minutes or hours or days later I get an answer and I know that what he told me was real and that what I asked for he honored. It's ridiculous how he can prove himself to me over and over again and yet I still lose faith and give up heart in his abilities to care for me.

Thank God He is gracious. I'm learning and I guess that's all I can expect of myself.

So it's Christmastime, as we all know. And I'm home. Again. Just like you all. I love being home because it is such a relief. School can be so dramatic, so taxing. And getting up everyday to a middle-aged man talking about t-accounts isn't the most invigorating thing. During this time of year I get many, many hours with some of my most favorite people in the world. It's a safe-zone. School is great, don't get me wrong, but when I'm home I have practically no worries.

Right now I am most thankful not to have to think. I don't have to do work or try to figure out Ho and Ha and t* and tcritical and all that stats crap. It's more than wonderful. I just finished an awesome book and I just started Pride and Prejudice. I love it already. Thanks Marie.

So, I guess that's all. I hope everyone is loving their Christmas break.

Exams, Christmas, College, etc.

It is the middle of exam week. Thankfully, my grades aren't going to suck as bad as I thought they were going to. In two days I am going home for Christmas and I cannot wait. Its time for this semester to end and a new chapter to begin.

As Christmas approaches I am thinking more seriously about how to celebrate. When I was younger I didn't think much at all about the season of Advent but this year I want it to mean more. I want the faith aspect of Christmas to be more prominent than the gifts part. As I get older I feel like there's less that I want and need than I used to anyway. During this time I just want to remember Jesus, as he was, not my image of him, but as he really was. And hopefully it will carry over to next year and the next and so on.

Each semester of college is so different. When I think back over each semester that I've been here it's amazing how many things have happened and changed, and how many people I've met and unmet. Many people that I used to hang out with often I don't even say hi to anymore. It's so strange how things change so quickly. It makes me wonder what next semester will bring. Who will I meet? Who will we hang out with? What will it be like now that Marie is not returning? Some semesters have been awesome and some have been a nightmare. It makes me uneasy about what to expect.

"But those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31

I've never seen a cooler Asbury

Today is Sexy Friday. Thanks to DJ and Marie, we now have a holiday every week. And everyone looks super hot. Taylor and Taylor in their houndstooth coats. Holland in his tailored suit. Adam in his argyle sweater. DJ in her teal chucks and "effing short" dress. Marie in her lovely Gap Sweater. Kate in her cute pea coat. And me in my sweater dress (thanks Chap).

Today also was student chapel, which started out with our Chapel band tearing it up playing "Love is a Battlefield." It rocked. Thank you Pat Benatar.

Then, my dear friend, Miss Anna Rimelspach spoke and it was beautiful.

Now I'm sitting in my intermediate accounting class, which, to be honest, is not so cool. But It's still a good day.

Plus, Jesus still loves me.

Happy Friday!

On Desire and Fear... from an old blog I wrote...

"As I try to write, something I am not so accustomed to doing, I wonder if there will ever be words enough to express the desire within me. In being pursued, I find desires awakened that I had forgotten about. In some senses I am very much afraid of them. It seems that the life that He promises us has too often been interrupted by hurt and pain, so much so that we forget about the life, our hearts, our desires, so as not to be a victim of the worlds vile schemes. I hate that. I hate that the things that were meant to give us life often result in the most pain. But then I think, "who would we be without pain?" We would never know the healing words and actions of our lover, Jesus Christ. I know that it is only because of Christ that I am able to let myself be sought after again, and so I propose that I am fortunate to have felt the pain I did and experienced the love of Christ in its midst. Fear should never stop us from loving, talking, sharing, praying or anything that Jesus desires us to take part in. I want life and I am afraid. So do I let that fear cripple me, or do I hand it over to the only One who can truly handle it. Of course the latter, however difficult it may be at times."

I was compelled to share this on my current blog because I think it's the most real thing I've ever written.

I had forgotten about it but when I went back and read it I realized how much of what I was writing was still holding me. Fear is so crippling still. And it's sin. In being fearful I've admitted that God cannot take care of me. I wish I didn't fear anything.

Fearless Class 2011 lololol.

We live in a fairy tale...

I've been thinking about this. If you take a step back and really look at our world it's just like a fairy tale. There are shires, magical wardrobes, mountain ranges, castles, Ireland... you get the idea. We have colors, dimensions, sunrises, sunsets, flying creatures, swiftly-moving beasts, air, flowers, intricate details. And a vast expanse of sky; stars and galaxies unknown. Maybe God gave us the sky just so we'd imagine. I think we've gotten too used to this magical place. I mean, come on, fire flies? Really? Bugs that light up and play with kids?

And as in all fairy tales, the beauty of this place is stripped by "the dark side," "the fires of mount doom," "the wicked witch of the west."

Long story short, satan sucks and so does anthrax.